……. was me.
So many synchronicities since I got to Ibiza, and all through my life if I’m to be honest. It’s always rewarding to look back at the many chapters of our lives and see clearly how things have fallen into place. Do you think life is mapped out for us from the beginning? That we manifest our own timelines and realities? That everything is destined for us? That all we have to do is be open to what’s presented to us? I truly do. I’ve learned not to fear change, but to trust the process.
I knew leaving New York I was surrendering to something within me on a soul level. I was listening to me, making it my time to find Mary. Since coming out here I’ve learned to slow down, take stock of what’s important, ground myself, and really begin to find me. This island is showing me who I am becoming. I spent those first few months enjoying a whole new lifestyle. Walking, reading, journaling, yoga, being badass swimming in the cold waters, and acclimating to the new energies of this island.
And here I am today, doing pretty much the same and getting used to another lockdown. Not knowing where my future will lead me, but then who does? With the madness going on in our world today we learn to accept today for today and the rest we let go of. I’m confident that anything is possible and that I’ll always be ok. I’ll always have enough. I’ll always be guided. And also knowing that it’s ok to stop, slow down and just be.
We all have masculine and feminine energies within us and for far too long I had stayed rooted in my masculinity. Trying to be someone, trying to succeed in a competitive city where my ego and energies were drained. Where I wasn’t feeling whole. Broken in fact, due to my knee and feet injuries. It was exhausting. I was on a treadmill called life trying to keep up. I didn’t feel secure. I didn’t know what I wanted for my future. I did know that my legs and ailments were telling me something. On a metaphysical level legs are all about moving forward in life. Just like everybody part has a metaphysical connection, it made complete sense. I was struggling physically as I’d walked away from a marriage of 23 years and all the security I knew. Starting out again at 50, feeling like I was on sea legs, hanging onto a piece of driftwood. I had to break down in order to rebuild. It was the beginning of me finding myself. My identity up until then was my marriage, my boys, and my real estate career. Taking that bold move to change my life and leave all the comforts I’d become so accustomed to.
And so here I am today reaccessing what’s important to me. Where I want to put my energies to good use. I want to continue to heal me. Stay grounded. Enjoy the simple pleasure this island brings me on a daily basis. Just a simple walk in nature looking at the Mediterranean blues can be enough to make my day a good day. Just the simple pleasures of being me. Looking back now I think Mary already knew Mary. She knew she wanted something different. Something better, a simpler life.